" The first draft is just you telling yourself the story." -Terry Pratchett |
9/10/2019 5 Comments Composing an Emotional Scene I had the pleasure of reading the story My Name is Margaret (Maya Angelou) I was able to relate to this story in so many ways. The anger that Margaret (Maya Angelou) felt towards Mrs. Cullinan, who insisted on calling Margaret the name Mary, even though she knew Margaret was her name. No matter how many times Mrs. Cullinan called her Mary, Margaret never accepted it as her name, and It only irritated Margaret more and more every time she said it. This emotion described reminded me of a time when I felt angry and sad at the same time, when someone tried to convince me to believe in something that I was totally against. I would love to share my story with others because you never know how you can change someone's life with your own personal story.
As I hold this cream-colored book in my hand tied with a silk ribbon which I’m contemplating if I should open it. This book isn’t just a normal book filled with photos or some beautiful memories, it’s a part of a story in my life. I finally got the heart to untie the ribbon and when I opened the book up it was a clay imprint of my daughter Mizani’s handprint. I’m sure to most they would say well what’s so special about a handprint well I’ll tell you why. Mizani lived a very short but happy life while she was here on this earth, and sadly God had only allowed me to burrow her for only 9month. So, you see this handprint amongst some other things symbolizes Mizani's life while she was here with me. The handprint has always made me have many mixed emotions both happy and sad, happy because God chose me to be her mother, and sad because I’m no longer able to hold her warm hands. It was sometime in the spring I remember because it was beautiful outside but not too hot but not cold enough to wear a jacket. It was the year 2007 and I had just found out I was carrying a beautiful baby girl inside of me. I’ll never forget it was a Saturday morning and my mother took me to get my first ultrasound, which I was highly excited about since I had just started to feel my baby's firsts kick. The ultrasound technician was extremely nice and showed me about five different pictures of my baby she was glad to announce that it was a girl. I always wanted a girl someone to; kiss all over, dress up in pink, and yellow dresses. I remember calling my boyfriend because he was at work to tell him our first born was going to be a girl. The excitement in his voice made me even happier that we were having this beautiful girl together. Monday morning came and my phone began to ring surprisingly it was from a number I didn’t recognize. It was a doctor who name I can’t quite remember, but the doctor did tell me that I had recently had an ultrasound and that they found something on the ultrasound and needed to discuss it with me in person. Nervously I said, “What’s wrong I have the ultrasound pictures right here, and the baby looked perfect.” The doctor continued to talk over me by saying “Ms. Montgomery we just need to come in as soon as possible. So many thoughts rambled through my head and I sat there confused on my bed. I called my boyfriend to let him know that we needed a follow up appointment with a specialist, he then questioned me about what the doctor spoke to be about on the phone which I couldn’t even mention because he didn't give me much information. I asked my mother if she could come along with us to the appointment for moral support and she answered quickly “absolutely daughter.” We arrived at the hospital and headed to the unit and office of the specialist, who happened to be a middle age man. Sitting down at his wooden desk he stood up to greet my mother, boyfriend, and I. He introduced his self and told us to make ourselves comfortable, which seemed amazedly hard since he had called me with news that he couldn’t discuss over the phone and it led me to believe it wasn’t good news at all. My boyfriend sat next to me holding my hand to comfort me for whatever news the doctor had planned on telling us. The Doctor went on to explain how the ultrasound had revealed a deformity he explained that our beautiful girl had a disease by the name of Anencephaly and that it meant she didn’t have a scull or fully-grown brain. After that the words he mentioned kind of was a blur to me I was stuck and trying to process the devastating news. My mother spoke for us “what do you mean without a scull doctor?” Something about his voice that I couldn't stomach I don’t know if it was the unsympathetic way he explained everything with no compassion. Tears ran down my face and every time I began to speak a huge lump would arise in the back of my throat. The doctor kept talking and the more he explained the more I cried and he said “Ms. Montgomery do you understand what I’m saying? I'm saying that the baby will be in pain, not thrive to eat, and most babies don’t even make it through a full term pregnancy.” More tears fell down my face and then he said something that made my stomach turn “Ms. Montgomery it’s not too late for you to terminate the pregnancy.” The tears came to a pause and something came over me and I was able to speak “ Doctor I don’t know if you know but there’s a life growing inside of me and she’s alive and kicking, I don’t care what you think or what you believe but I’m keeping my baby girl. He had the nerve to repeat it two more times and I had enough I was ready to go about 20 minutes into him talking. The anger I had for this doctor was a feeling I’ll never forget. There nothing worst then someone trying to convince to believe something that you know isn’t right, and no matter how many times they say it or how they try to sugar coat it, it will never sit well with you. I'm so glad that I decided to go with my heart and give Mizani the fighting chance she deserved. Even though she only lived for 10 months it was the happiest moments in my life everyday we made memories to last a lifetime. Now imagine if I went along with the doctor I would've never gotten the chance to experience truth love. It's amazing how someone else story can bring back emotions and memories of something that happen to in your past. The story “My Name Is Margaret may not have been my exact story, but I felt that same emotion of anger towards the doctor. Especially when he insisted I terminate my pregnancy as Margaret did towards Mrs. Cullinan when she insisted on calling her the wrong name even though she knew it was wrong. I hope after reading my story and “My Name Is Margaret that you too take something from it or that it also sparks some kind of emotion inside of you, and I hope you if you are ever in a situation where someone is saying something that is wrong or offensive to you that you stand up for yourself or others.
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Shayla MontgomeryHi I'm Shayla I'm a wife, mother, and student. I currently work full-time while going to school part-time to obtain an degree i nursing. Archives
December 2019
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